Making excuses

Lt. Nixon brought the above-linked editorial to my attention after I published my blog entry about our nation of idiots. Welcome to the UCLA's Daily Bruin where we try to make excuses for the ignorami of the nation by pointing to the fact that they know pop culture.

A recent survey conducted by the group Common Core showed that many American teenagers live in “stunning ignorance,” but these surveys severely misrepresent teen knowledge.

Really? So not knowing the APPROXIMATE time frame during which the Civil War occurred and not having a clue about when this country was actually discovered (we can quibble over the fact that Columbus didn't ever really set foot on our soil and didn't really "discover" America per se for a long time, and yes, I realize schools generally avoid teaching anything more substantial than "Columbus discovered America in 1492") is really NOT ignorance? To call lack of familiarity with basic history of one's nation "stunning ignorance" is a misrepresentation?

Oh, yeah. I forgot. This is UCLA. California really isn't part of the United States, is it?

The survey was conducted by telephone and asked 1,200 17-year-olds to answer 33 “basic questions about history and literature.”

However the questions were taken from a 1986 federal government-administered test and questions were as specific as asking the subjects to name Ralph Ellison’s novel about a Southern-raised young man moving to Harlem. Considering that some students don’t even read “Invisible Man” in four years of English classes in high school, 33 questions are not inclusive enough of the wide variety of literature to which students are theoretically exposed.

I see... the questions are TOO OLD! They're TOO SPECIFIC! How can we expect the kids of today to know classic literature? How can we expect them to actually pick up a book on their own if it's not being taught in English class? After all, they'd miss their Playstation/Wii/idiot box time!

Why is it that my daughter - at 12 years old - is currently reading "The Handmaid's Tale" with great interest? And trust me - that's one you won't see on any 7th grade reading list. Why is it that my 10-year-old Redhead is reading and understanding the political subthemes in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix? Why is it that both of them have read more books than many high school students today - books that aren't being taught in their elementary and middle schools? Maybe it's because we, the parents, take a keen interest in ensuring our kids don't grow up to be slobbering, catatonic sub-morons who only know the world from watching the idiot box on a nightly basis?

Considering the test questions are also more than 20 years old, they should not be interpreted as an accurate reflection of contemporary teen knowledge.

Wait! Let me see if I can get this straight... questions that are more than 20 years old aren't reflective of one's knowledge of actual HISTORY??? Wow... how astute. Especially since contemporary teen knowledge mostly consists of knowing the exact shape and structure of Britney Spears' hoo ha when she topples panty-less and drunk out of a limo, understanding that 16-year-old Jamie Lynn Spears is knocked up, but admiring her for getting a GED, and analyzing the social implications of Paula Abdul's drug-haze on American Idol.

Oh... and Stephen Colbert!

While modern teens might not be able to fully decipher and appreciate the symbolic social commentary of George Orwell’s “1984,” they seem to have no trouble relating to the satire of Stephen Colbert, whose analysis is much more pertinent to current society.

Oh really? So Orwell's "1984" is not pertinent to today's society? This shows me exactly why the editors of the Bruin chose to pen this particular vapid piece of defensive dreck. They apparently have about as much clue about what is going on in the world today and its relevance to the prophetic writings of people like Orwell, Bradbury and Rand as the idiot children of today, who don't even know who Orwell, Bradbury and Rand were.

Let me clue you in.

An Orwellian society is probably more pertinent to the current climate under which we live today than it ever was.

The Patriot Act, while a moist, squishy afterthought for most people in the aftermath of the horrors of 9-11, and while the majority of its 400+ pages are legitimate in providing tools for law enforcement and security agencies to better do their jobs, DOES, in fact, endanger civil liberties.

Ever heard of the attempted Operation TIPS? I'm thinking probably not.

The program's website implied that US workers who had access to private citizens' homes, such as cable installers and telephone repair workers, would be reporting on what was in people's homes if it were deemed "suspicious."

Operation TIPS was accused of doing an "end run" around the United States Constitution, and the original wording of the website was subsequently changed. President Bush's former Attorney General, John Ashcroft denied that private residences would be surveiled by private citizens operating as government spies.

Mr. Ashcroft nonetheless defended the program, equivocating on whether the reports by citizens on fellow citizens would be maintained in government databases. While saying that the information would not be in a central database as part of Operation TIPS, he maintained that the information would still be kept in databases by various law enforcement agencies.

In other words, kiddies, works of authors who have long been forgotten by today's ignorant great unwashed masses of drugged-up, semi-catatonic crotchfruit of irresponsible, whining, government-is-my-nanny parents, are more important and more relevant today than ever.

And your tedious attempts to make excuses for them won't wash here. As I said previously, it's time for this society to start taking responsibility. Time for parents to stop relying on schools to make their children into well-rounded individuals. Time for schools to stop throttling achievement and start rewarding it. Maybe THEN, our society of idiots won't turn into our society of maladjusted, drugged up maggots who feel the way to escape their pathetic ennui is to destroy the lives of others.